Without You
by beadedheart
Summary: Damon and Elena the morning after 3x14 and all the consequences of Elena's words.  Oneshot.


**So this has been rattling around in my head ever since I heard this song. I think it's perfect for them and I really hope you agree. I know I need to be working on What Doesn't Kill You… but I had to get this out first.**

**Song: I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these lyrics or these characters but the creativity is my own.**

_I miss your blue eyes_

_How you kissed me at night_

_I miss the way we sleep_

_Like there's no sunrise_

_Like the taste of your smile_

_I miss the way we breathe_

He promised. He promised he would never leave her again. And yet, here she stood in his bedroom doorway, completely frozen. She had walked in on him packing a beaten black travel bag she had only seen once before, when they went to Chicago to find Stefan.

She had driven over here this morning ready to argue with him about the things they said at the ball last night. She knew she needed to apologize, though she didn't regret her decision to talk to Esther just like she didn't regret getting the grimoire from his father's grave behind his back all those months ago. She was trying to protect the people she loved. She was trying to protect him. She knew she went about it all wrong. She never should have said what she did. She _never_ should have told him his feelings, his love, were a problem.

Now, here she stood, speechless, unable to comprehend the sight in front of her as he ignored her and continued to shove essentials unceremoniously into his bag.

"Damon?" She managed.

He kept packing, pointedly ignoring her shocked face, knowing it would stop him. "What do you want Elena?"

"What…what are you doing?"

"Leaving." He said simply, harshly.

She gasped.

_But I never told you_

_What I should have said_

_No I never told you_

_I just held it in_

"You…you can't!" She squeaked.

He sighed, running his hands through his thick hair. "Why the hell not?"

"B-because. You promised."

"So? Not like it'll be the first time I've broken one of those."

"But, I need you…"

He spun angrily, looking directly at her for the first time. His brilliantly blue eyes flashed dangerously in the bright sun coming through his windows.

"That's not good enough!"

He grabbed his bag, zipping it up one handed. He slung it over his shoulder and snatched his leather jacket off a chair near the door before shoving violently past her.

_And now I miss everything about you_

_I can't believe that I still want you_

_After all the things we've been through_

_I miss everything about you_

_Without you_

She chased him breathlessly as he stomped down the stairs, big, fat tears running down her full cheeks as she gasped hopelessly, the crack in her heart that had started in the doorway growing dangerously bigger with every step he took.

"Please…please…" She sobbed. "Don't leave me." She begged, grabbing the back of his shirt in a desperate and useless attempt to physically keep him from walking out the open door. Like she could stop him if he was determined to leave.

His shoulders sagged under her clutch. "I can't Elena. I just can't do this anymore. The way you save me is killing me. Besides, I'm a "problem". Problem solved."

She choked at his use of her words from last night. "Please…please…" She begged, unable to say anything else. Even now, when the fragile sense of safety she had constructed for herself was crashing down, she couldn't say the thing he needed.

He sighed.

"Goodbye Elena."

He shrugged her off and strode determinedly towards his Camaro in the sun, leaving her standing motionless in the open doorway, the sun almost too bright, blinding her, obscuring her vision of him. She squinted against the whiteness. If she could still see him then he couldn't leave.

"Please…don't go! PLEASE!"

Her knees threatened to give way as he threw his bag in the back seat and opened the door.

"_PLEASE!_"

Her breathe stopped when the engine roared to life. It stole her air.

"**PLEASE DON'T GO! I LOVE YOU!**"

The desperate admission ripped its way out of her throat, leaving her mute and broken as he peeled out of the driveway leaving nothing but dust and a broken heart behind. She never could have seen it coming, never would have believed it, but in that moment her world ended.

_I see your blue eyes_

_Every time I close mine_

_You make it hard to see_

_Where I belong to when I'm not around you_

_It's like I'm not with me_

His hands clutched the wheel, his eyes shut in pain as he left her behind. There was no other option. He was dying. The way he loved her, the way she cared, was killing him slowly. His brother was back. She would be safe. She didn't need him anymore. She made that clear last night.

He drove aimlessly, his only goal to get as far out of Mystic Falls as fast as possible. Her desperate cry, those words he would have died to hear, they were just an attempt to get him to stay, to reel him back in…she couldn't have meant them. She couldn't be so cruel.

Her pained expression haunted him and he shook his head, frantically trying to shake her out. He couldn't stand an eternity of being haunted by memories of her. He would stand in the sun without his ring first. He thought he could handle it, but the pain was just too much. He glanced in the rear view mirror.

No. Esther would kill Klaus. Elena would be safe. Stefan was off the people-blood. Stefan and Elena would get back together and all would be right in the fairytale that was Mystic Falls. That was how it should be. It was for the best. She didn't want him. He just had to keep telling himself that.

But her eyes. Oh, her eyes. The pain there looked almost as drowning as the pain he'd felt ever since her words last night. _"Maybe that's the problem."_ He hated to see her hurt. She had become such an integral part of him. She had brought him to himself again.

"Dammit!" He yelled, the screech of tires almost drowning him out.

_But I never told you_

_What I should have said_

_No I never told you_

_I just held it in._

_And now I miss everything about you_

_I can't believe that I still want you_

_After all the things we've been through_

_I miss everything about you_

_Without you_

Elena hadn't moved from her spot at the open door of the Salvatore boarding house except to fall to her knees and wrap her arms around her torso like she was trying to keep the splintered pieces of herself from literally falling onto the hardwood floor in shards. The light had started to leave the sky, coloring the clouds shades of purple and her broken sobs still had not ended.

Her whole body ached with a loss she hadn't felt since the death of her parents. She didn't know it was possible to feel this way about someone who wasn't of her blood. She didn't know she could feel this way about someone who had hurt her so many times. Everyone tried to tell her, everyone could see it but she refused to give either of them what they needed. She knew now. Now when it was too late she understood.

Damon was her soul mate, her other half. _And I just let him go. No. I practically shoved him out the door. I don't deserve to miss him and yet I can't help it._

Her mind was bombarded with thoughts and memories of him. The first time they met when he kissed her hand. When he attacked her at his father's grave. When he saved her from her car wreck. Doing shots with him in Atlanta. Saving him from Lexi's boyfriend. When he killed Jeremy. When they danced. When he was dying and he told her he loved her. His expression at the bottom of the stairs when he saved her from Elijah. When they kissed on her porch just last week. The way he joked, the way he teased, his smirk, his smile, his protectiveness, his pain. Everything about him was all she could think about.

Every muscle in her body was sore and stiff from her wracking sobs and from being in one position for so long. Her knees felt like they were going to fall off and yet she had no motivation to move. She felt numb…dead. What she wouldn't give to have that little switch that Damon had no doubt flipped. Maybe Caroline would turn her...though it didn't really matter. Maybe she should just give herself to Klaus. That would probably be best. He wouldn't expect her to care about anything.

Her sobs finally started to subside, but still she didn't move, staring deadly at the grains in the floor just inches below her eyes. The tips of her hair were soaked with the gallons of tears she had cried over however many hours it had been since Damon walked out the door.

There was a small puddle on the floor from her tears. There was a distorted reflection in the puddle…but she couldn't recognize the girl there. She was faded and colorless. Lifeless. Not without him. She wasn't the same. Not without the man who fought her and fought for her, who sheltered her and freed her, who brought her back to life without her even noticing. She would never be loved so powerfully…so unconditionally…again and she just treated that love like trash.

She gulped air, her tears beginning again, when she noticed a shadow standing above her. She slowly tilted her head up, not really caring who was there. She hiccupped when she saw the person in the doorway.

"Damon…"

**I hope you liked it! If you did you should click that little button. That one! Right there!**


End file.
